I grew up in a Baptist church. Every Sunday, just before the weekly offering was taken, the entire congregation of hundreds of people, read together, out loud, Malachi 3:10.

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “And see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room for it.”

We were very poor. I often had no lunch to take to school. My hunger diminished my academic performance, effected my health and humiliated me before my friends.

In contrast our pastors lived very well. Yet every Sunday, I was taught that my family should take ten percent of it’s totally inadequate income and give that money to the church. I believed that failure by my family to do so, would result in the worsening of our poverty.

Tithing was to me, a dour and harsh imposition. It was just one more condemning, religious demand. In contrast, looking at Biblical tithing as an adult, has given me a very different and joyful picture of what scripture intended.

First of all, tithing as a command, is not in the New Testament. Tithing is mentioned several times in the New Testament, but not as a law to be obeyed.

For example, In Hebrews 7:2, Abraham, in tithing to the ancient, mysterious priest, Melchizedek, gives Melchizedek raised status. If the great Abraham defered to Melchizedek by tithing to him, then Melchizedek was a higher order priest than ordinary priests.

Another mention of tithing is in the Gospels. Jesus rebukes the Pharisees for tithing meticulously, as a means of avoiding their responsibilities for what Christ calls the “Heavier” issues of justice. Christ does not command tithing. He instead rebukes the use of tithing in order to allow oneself to act unjustly.

The church, in which I grew up, like the Pharisees, used the tithing law in an unjust way. My family was asked to give at a level that was damaging to our financial situation. In demanding my family tithe to the church, the church was being unfair.

The New Testament advice in regard to money is, “Be generous.” If your family has more than they need, they will find joy if they share their excess with people who do not have enough.

The Old Testament does command tithing, but it is a very different kind of tithing when compared to the teaching I was given as a boy. One expression of the tithing law is found in Dueteronomy 14:22-29. In this text, tithing was set up in a three year cycle.

In the first two years of the cycle, the Jewish people were commanded to bring a tenth of what their farms produced to a celebration to be held in Jerusalem, [refered to as,"A place to be named later," in the text]. If they lived near Jerusalem, they were to bring their one tenth to Jerusalem at a designated time each year. If they lived too far from Jerusalem to easily haul all that food, they were to sell their tithe locally. Then they would take the money to Jerusalem.

Then comes the surprise. The first and second year, the people would take part in a giant feast and eat their tithe in celebration of the goodness of God. Let me emphasize that. People consumed their tithe themselves. They did not give the tithe food to the priests. Instead, along with their fellow countrymen, they took part in a huge feast. The point of the feast was to remind the entire population of the great love of God who had so bountifully supplied for them.

There is another surprise. The folks that brought their tithe to Jerusalem in cash were told to spend the money on whatever food and drink that appealed to them. Look at this text.

“Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there, in the presence of the LORD your God, and rejoice.” Deut 14:26

This was not a Baptist family Thanksgiving dinner. This was a real party, with all your friends, lots of food and lots of booze. There is no trace of the Protestant distrust of physical pleasure here. This was an all night, dancing, singing, feeling a buzz, overeating, look forward to it all year celebration of God’s grace.

If it was my third year in the three year tithing cycle, I was to give my tithe to the priests. However, the tithe was to be used by the priests in a specific manner.

First of all, the priest did not own any land. His families need for food was to be met out of everyone’s tithe given on their third year in the tithing cycle. Also this third year tithe was to be used to feed the needy.

“So that the Levites [Who have no allotment or inheritance of their own] and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.” Duet 14:29

That means that tithing was meant to help relieve the suffering of the poor. Tithing was never meant to be a burden to needy people, it was meant to be a blessing to them.

What is meant by the idea that if you tithed correctly that God would bless the work of your hands. Does that mean that if we tithe correctly, God will wave some kind of Heavenly magic wand so that we will be guaranteed prosperity? Religions have always sought to get some leverage on God that would make God our do our will. Tithing does not put something behind God that allows me to get Him to do what I want. That is a wicked thought for me to have. Let me suggest an alternate understanding.

Years ago I asked a good friend of mine a question. This friend had a PHD in history from the University of Southern California.

I said,” Suppose that because of the life and teaching of Jesus, the American Christian population had decided before the Civil War to free the slaves. Suppose they then worked and commited their resources to integrate the black people into the mainstream of American society, economics, education, politics and religion. What difference would repentance at that level had made in the history of our country?”

He said, “It certainly would have prevented the Civil War and probably also prevented the First World War.” Whether or not his analysis was correct, the difference to world history would have been staggering.

If in response to the love of God, Christians became lovers of justice, we would all be safer and happier. Suppose Britain had sent a Mother Theresa to India for every soldier and administrator they did send. Suppose that America had spent its resources in Latin America to develop rather than to exploit. Suppose the West had been able to develop the petroleum resources in the Middle East in a way that gave the developers a solid profit, and also was fair and just in regard to the people of the Middle East.

If we had done those things with the help and guidance of God, I feel certain we would all be safer and happier. I think we would feel the hand of God had blessed everything we had done.

What I think is being said is, that if our handling of the tithe shows we care deeply about our fellow human beings, then we have aligned ourselves with the heart of God. A partnership between us and God would then emerge, that would bless the people of the world.

If our hearts are selfish, God can only align himself with us in a limited way. God must in some sense oppose us in order to keep us from ruining our own lives. If our hearts are generous and lovingly free, then God can throw his weight behind our efforts to give ourselves a prosperous life, and then behind our efforts to effectively share our prosperity.

The tithe says come together and celebrate the abundance of my blessing to you. Then help the needy and join with me to seek justice in the world. If we enter into that partnership with God, our life is going to be like the exciting party the the Jewish people were invited to, on the first and second year of their tithing cycle. We will have a marvelously enjoyable life.

At this point I’d like to look again at Malachi 3:10, quoted above.”Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse,” is a reference to what was supposed to happen on the third year of the three year tithing cycle. The party on the first two years is not mentioned, but it still is a part of the tithing plan.

Somehow to me, that eases things up a lot. If the idea was to give my tithe to the priests every single year, that would feel terribly burdensome. However, if I only am being asked to do it once every three years, it feels to me like I am just doing my fair share.

When I worked on Skid Row, my wife and I budgeted what we thought was reasonable for us to give away to homeless people each month, given our limited income and our desire to care for our four wonderful daughters. If I never personally helped out street people , I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. On the other hand, I could not have met the needs I saw every day, if I had given away $10,000 .

By budgeting in advance each month, we could meet our obligations to our kids, and at the same time do a reasonable job helping out downtown.. Our spiritual giving was manageable and enjoyable.

In that same spirit, having a party the first two years with the tithe, then giving it to the priests on the third year would not weigh the people down. They could then do their part to help other people on the third year, for fun and for free.

My experience with the tithing I was taught as a boy, made giving a weighty, guilt provoking, burden. Tithing, as presented by the Old Testament is always joyful.

Mal 3:10 also says,” That there may be food in my house.” The best way to understand that phrase is to take it literally. If people did not contribute food, the priests and their families could not eat. Not only that, the other people like refugees, widows, and orphans, who did not have a farm would be without food. The third year of the tithe cycle lets everyone do their part in a reasonable way.

There is another important point to be made from Malachi. Look at this text which directly precedes the Malachi text at which we have been looking.

“Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me.

But you ask, ‘How do we rob you?’

In tithes and offerings” Mal 3:8-9

The text seems to be saying that we rob God when we don’t pay our tithes and offerings. To me, if tithing is given in these terms, it loses its joyfulness. Either give me your tithe or else I will curse you makes the tithe a whole lot like a tax.

That is how our government treats me. Pay your tax. If you don’t, I will make you sorry. It has to be done. We may well be thankful for our country, but a tax is never fun.

There is another way to look at this text. All punctuation in the Bible is added by the editors. Ancient semitic languages did not have punctuation. To make our English translations readable, scholars insert punctuation where it seems to be needed.

Lets change the punctuation a little bit.

“How do we rob you with tithes and offerings?”

If we punctuate the text in this manner, it changes the spirit of what is being said. We are no longer saying that you rob God and will be punished if you don’t tithe.

Now we are saying,” Yes you did tithe. Yes you did give your offerings. However, you are doing it in a way that robs God of his joy. The act of paying tithes as a bribe given to God to insure his financial blessing, steals from God. It steals from God what he wants most.

What does God want? God wants us to join with him in caring for the poor. God is saying bring your fair share and join your generosity with my generosity. Then we can have the pleasure of working together to love those in need.

It is the partnership in righteousness between God and his people that God has always valued. If we turn tithing into a tax, we have robbed God of that which is closest to his heart; we rob Him of a loving, righteous oneness with his people.

Developed with significant help from Morey

An elder so fierce in his gentleness, he disarms the mightiest of foes.

The simple wisdom of a sage, twinkles and glimmers through a foolish

child’s delight in his eyes.

He brought tears to my eyes with harsh truths of a boy’s nightmares

turned to gold in the healing alchemical vessel that is our

lives in the mystery and grace of an ever present, ever potent

force of love and wisdom.

Like an unworthy, frantic, needy boy, who turns his pockets inside

out, spreading all the contents before him, marbles, a rabbit’s

foot, a bubblegum card.

I may not have done well in school. But I’m smart.

I’ll tell you all I know.

He say’s shush. Let’s relax and just

enjoy one another.

Written for me after we had gotten together for the first time,

by my good friend Chris Giatris

On January 14th, my eldest daughter Gina and I visited the StoryCorps mobile booth in Santa Monica, CA. Gina did a stellar job interviewing me about my life. Sure do like Gina a lot. I also think her boyfriend Chad is pretty damned awesome too. In fact, I would have to say he is pretty much my favorite person ever.

The following story ran in the Los Angeles Times on January 29, 2005 following our Story Corps interview.

With a mobile booth and an open microphone the Library of Congress is capturing the quiet drama of everyday life. By Martin Miller
Times Staff Writer, January 29, 2006

GEORGE CAYWOOD and his grown daughter Gina have always been close but when a radio microphone was recently placed between them they became even closer.

The Caywood’s this month added their distinctive stories to an ambitious national oral history project called StoryCorps whose goal is to amass a library of a quarter-million interviews between ordinary Americans over the next decade. The recorded 40 minute interviews meant to give future generations an audio glimpse of everyday life in our time will eventually be pared to two minute segments to prepare them for archiving in the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress.

Oral histories are typically taken by professionals and usually center on grand national events. In contrast, StoryCorps is built upon a free,flowing give andtake in an intimate recording studio most often between family members or close friends about the common but no less grand themes of the personal life, birth, death, love and so on.

“What this project tells people is that they matter and they won”t be forgotten” said Dave Isay the New York based radio documentarian who founded the project. “That’s really all anybody wants to know.”

The project, which has just begun a six months, 10, city national tour, has completed about 5000 interviews. The tour has made its first stop in the West at the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, where it will remain until Feb. 5, when it leaves for San Diego.

Anyone can participate in the project, but reservations are required (www.storycorps.net).

In addition to a city tour launched last summer, the project also has two permanent recording sites in New York, at Grand Central Station and near the former World Trade Center. Select stories culled from these interviews regularly air Friday mornings on National Public Radio. Santa Monica public radio station KCRW FM (89.9) will create special programming around the local segments as well.

The Caywoods were among the first to record their interview inside a Mobile Booth, a converted silver Airstream with state of theart equipment now parked near Wilshire Boulevard and Third Street. Like hundreds of other Southern Californians, they were eager to volunteer for the project.

I never felt my dad received the respect and appreciation he deserved, said Gina Caywood,38, of her 67 old father a chaplain who once was president of the Union Rescue Mission in downtown Los Angeles. He lives a simple life and doesn’t have a lot of money, and I just wanted to honor him this way.”

And as in most previous interviews, it was the younger generation prodding the older one into the booth, a familiar pattern, say StoryCorps facilitators who work the recording instruments, keep time and gently guide the interview process.

“I’ve had so many grandparents say to their grandchildren,my life isn’t interesting, why did you drag me here?” said Piya Kochhar, the facilitator who worked with the Caywoods. “Next thing they know their 40 minutes is up.”

Gina’s a human resources manager who lives in Long Beach, has always known her father’s life was interesting and very, very rough. When George was 15, his father committed suicide.

“Back then people dealt with grief differently than they do today”, said Gina. “Nobody had ever asked him how it felt to have his father use his gun to kill himself. He was always so worried about everyone else that I think nobody ever stopped to care about him”.

The conversation produced tears from daughter and father who said he’d originally received the gun as a gift. She knew about my father’s suicide”, said George. “But I don’t think I ever told her about how hard I worked to process the guilt, the shame and the grief, so that it would work for me and not destroy me.”

Going to the heart of the matter

The tearful dynamic is not uncommon. StoryCorps provides participants with suggested questions, most of which are designed to elicit powerful emotional responses. The questions tend to focus on family love religion and even health and include: “Do you remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?, Do you ever think about previous lovers? and Do you think about dying?

“People get in the booth and, boom,“ they start crying said Isay, a recipient of a MacArthur Foundation genius grant. “We want to get Kleenex to be one of our sponsors.”

Of course, not everybody cries during the experience, but few emerge from it without a new appreciation for their subject.

At 91, Millie Rosenstein and her 63 year“old son Paul entered the booth this month, ostensibly to talk about her extensive community involvement in Santa Monica. They did that, but Paul, a former councilman and mayor of Santa Monica, also got something unexpected as he closes in on retirement.

I walked away with a renewed respect for my mother and a sense of enthusiasm about what kind of life I can look forward to when I retire”, said Paul Rosenstein, a labor union representative. “I found it inspiring”.

Millie welcomed the chance to keep the record straight. “It was terrific”, she said. “Once my generation goes they are going to be rewriting history like crazy and that just unfortunate.’

“It’s all part of the magic of the booth”, as Isay puts it.

“People like to be asked questions”, he said. “There’s something about having a microphone that allows them to ask questions that they normally wouldn’t get to ask, and it creates a bond that lasts well beyond the time the recording has stopped”.

I gave this poem to each of my daughters around their 18th birthday. Gina, my oldest got it first. She cried because she didn’t want things to change. The other girls knew it was coming.

You are a woman now
My fathering task is done.
The reward of fathering is upon me
As His children we are one.

There is no greater delight
Than our time now you are grown.
I savor every contact
That means I know and I am known.

All has been repaid
There is no debt owed.
Whatever you have cost me
You have given back tenfold.

No money or no time.
Not a letter or a call.
Never feel an “Ought to”
Making stressful tears to fall.

I offer you my friendship;
Whatever I am I give.
I reach for you my daughter,
To share the lives we live.

I am glad to give you wisdom
If I have the words you need;
But I have no right to impose
If my words are not your deed.

I gladly take your insights.
I am hungry for what you know.
You are a thoughtful woman,
You have great light to show.

Be free, my strong beauty.
Follow any light you dare
But I long to be your friend
As we have time to share.

- GMC -

One Hundred Million Children

God, I am not sure I can express this—
So Many factors are at play.

All people are born to love children.
All children are lovely.
I was not loved.
100,000,000 [One hundred million]
children
are
not
loved.
They live on the streets of the world.

My abuse as a child connects me with them.
Because I was abused,
I withdraw in shock
From the magnitude of the horror.

I have one face in mind;
A boy, now dead, pictured in today’s newspapers
Next to a colonel executed by terrorists.

We are outraged by the hanging of the Colonel.
We should be outraged
We are outraged by the boy’s death.
We should be outraged.

I do not know how to be outraged
by
100,000,000
street
children.

That’s too many for me.
But
You
know
the
names
of
100,000,000,000 [One hundred billion]
galaxies.

Each galaxy has 100,000,000,000 to 400,000,000,000 stars.
You
know
the
name
of
every
star.

You know, as a friend, every sparrow.
Therefore,
you
know
every
child
that is homeless-
all 100,000,000 of them.
[ Do they all even have names?]

Every time a child’s stomach rumbles
you
hear
it.

Every time a child becomes full of rage at his circumstances
you
are
angered.

Every time a child sells himself sexually and wounds his soul
you
are
wounded.

Every time an angry adult lashes out at a child
you
feel
it.

The suffering of one child is staggering.
You feel all their pain.
You do not turn your face from any of them.
You watch them suffer, each and every one.
I weep for them.
I weep for you.

What can I do?

GMC

They Shall Not Hurt Or Destroy

The deer crashes through the thicket
Made desperate by the gun.

The lion chases the goat who in
Terror is made to run.

The mother of the child is frightened
She fears and hates the snake.

The whole forest dreads the bear
And the havoc he can make.

But a new voice comes in love and great power
And announces the arrival of the long awaited hour.

“They shall not hurt or destroy in all
My holy mountain; for the earth
Shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord
As the the waters cover the sea”

There is a miracle in that voice,
The lion and bear take note,

Of deeply buried understandings
That no longer are remote.

No man or beast dares rebel
Against the speaker that is God
Who speaks with an authority
That is either feared or awed.

Then, a world against itself,
Did not know his way.

Now a world is ordered
Because they heard him say:

‘They shall not hurt or destroy
In all my holy mountain; for the earth
Shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord
As the waters cover the sea.”

- GMC -

Minister:
In my deepest heart, I intend for this marriage to last for my entire life, rich or poor,sick or well.
You will always be my husband. You will always be my wife.

Do you  [man], give  [woman]  your promise of faithfulness?      I do.
Do you  [woman] , give  [man]  your promise of faithfulness?      I do.

Minister:
I know we will both make mistakes.I also know we both have the chance as individuals
joined in marriage to continue to grow and overcome weaknesses in our personalities. This process
may well be hard and painful.

Do you [woman], promise to encourage [man], as he matures and grows?     I do.
Do you [man], promise to encourage [woman], as she matures and grows?     I do.

Minister:
I am grateful that we have made the necessary adjustments that have made our relationship healthy
so far. I know many more adjustments will be necessary if our marriage is to be sucessful.

[Man], do you promise to do the work necessary to build you relationship with [woman] ?
I do.
[Woman], do you promise to do the work necessary to build your relationship with [man] ?
I do.

Minister:
Your family and friends and friends have brought  much that is good to me. I want that to to remain
true, in the years that are before us.

[Woman[, do you promise to embrace the people [man] loves?     I do.
[Man], do you promise to embrace the people [woman], loves?     I do.

Minister:
We have laughed together many times. I enjoy you very much. It makes me happy to see you happy.

[Man], do you promise to give ample opportunity for your marriage to [woman], to be playful and fun?
I do.
[Woman], do you promise to give ample opportunity for your marriage to [man], to be playful and fun?
I do.

Minister:
I love and admire your many qualities. I am glad your personality and gifts are so different than mine.
I value you. I cherish you.

I [Woman], give you [man], my love and my heart.
I [Man], give you [woman], my love and my heart.

I [man], take you [woman], as my wife.
I [woman], take you [man] as my husband.

In the early Nineties, I was living through a very painful time. My marriage had ended. My long ministry at Union Rescue Mission had been terminated unpleasantly.. I had barely begun to find the support that ultimately came to me through the 12 Step programs.

I looked in the phone book for an Episcopal church. Emmanuel Episcopal Church in Fullerton was in the Yellow Pages listed as a Charismatic, 12 Step church. That sounded like a good church for me.

I decided to attend the next Sunday.I found a fellowship much to my delight and comfort:. I found:

A loving Thursday night home fellowship.

Father Paul, a wonderful Pastor. He had German heritage. He sometimes referred to himself as the German Shepherd.

Father Rob, A musical genius who became one of my closest friends.

Warren, my spiritual partner for a few years,who opened up to me, wonderful traditional ways to study the Bible and to pray.

Sylvia, Everyone else in the church gave me time to process my tears and fears by being lovingly available but not assertive. Sylvia, just roared through my barriers to hug me and love me. She did it in a way that is dear to me even today.

Jane, who still is my model for sensible, caring Christianity.

And so many more people that walked me through a tough time.

But in particular, there was Bob and Leona. God put this couple and me together. They were part of my home group. But the place we really hooked up was at a church retreat in Julian, California.

On Saturday morning that weekend, we were sitting in an alcove in the meeting building with 5or 6 other people. It was before breakfast. We all began to share. The sharing was completely open. The warmth between us was miraculous. I do mean miraculous. It was like God was sitting in a chair taking part in the conversation. No one wanted to go to breakfast.

Bob and Leona became my adopted parents. Leona simply would not allow me to remain bitter. She knew I had to forgive my Mom, that I had to get over feeling responsible for my Father’s suicide, that I had to get past being shoved out at the Mission, that I had to learn from my divorce so that other relationships with woman would ultimately become possible.

She did talk to me about all these things, and dozens more, but I caught forgiveness from her more than I was taught forgiveness by her. Her strong, loving, motherly, womanly heart surrounded me and held me tight. Her transforming goodness has kept healing me right up to a 30 minute phone conversation I had with her an hour ago.

Bob and I had something in common. We both thought Leona was a great woman. Bob is,  what is sometimes called a man’s man. I love the way other men come up to him to talk. It is almost like they bow to him, out of respect.

I told him once, “Dad, I wish I could be just like you.”

He wanted no part of that. He just laughed gently and said ” Then you wouldn’t be the fine man that you are.”

I am no longer called to that church. However, I love to reflect on all the pleasure and healing that is  there for all who want it.

list;
Love
Joy
PeaceIn the New Testament, St. Paul gives us a list of human character assets that he calls the fruit of the spirit.
Here is the
Longsuffering
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self Control

When my children were small, we had a plaque of the Fruitof the Spirit on the bathroom wall. They all automatically memorized the list. I think they can still recite it. I considered making the subject of my masters thesis the argument that this was the best discription of emotional maturity in existence.

At least it has served me well as the goal of all the effort I have made
to be healthy. Pauls fruit of the spirit gave me a goal to try to achieve.

One day, In meditating on this list I noticed that there was a glaring omission. Why did Paul fail to include honesty? What could be more important to maturity than honesty?

After a few days I had my answer.
His list was a list of qualities that develop in a person as the person becomes mature. Honesty can not
be the end result of maturity when honesty is the necessary beginning point of any recovery effort.

When a person plants a fruit tree he understands that it will take time for the tree to begin to produce. When the girls were small, we worked all day one Saturday planting a small vegetable garden. They woke up at about 6:00 AM on Sunday and ran outside to pull some radishes and carrots. I had failed to explain that it was going to take time for the plants to produce the fruit of all their work.

Honesty can not be in a list of qualities that are seen as fruit. That is because honesty is necessary for the growth process to even get started.

Jesus makes the same point in the Parable of the Sower. He explains that some people cannot profitably receive spiritual truth for various reasons. Things like rigidity, fear, love of money and power can prevent the seeds of spirituality from taking root, growing and coming to maturity.

However, some people are at the place in their lives that they can receive the seeds of spirituality and live to see the the planting of the seeds result in a fully developed crop. Jesus says that the people that can make spirituality produce a mature crop have to have a good and honest heart. Honesty is not the fruit of spirituality, it is the ground in which it grows.

There are various kinds of honesty. One type is monetary honesty. At one place where I worked a man in recovery was doing well except for one thing. The coffee shop he patronized gave free self serve coffee refills. He was in the habit of using the previous day’s paper coffee cup thereby cheating the coffee shop out of the price of a cup of coffee. I told him that the free coffee was not worth the damage he was doing to his personality.

Another type of honesty involves telling the truth. There is a recovery saying I really like. “Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean? That advice is an essential piece of my recovery.

A third kind of honesty for me is an absolute, nearly brutal resolve to live in reality. For me to get better I had to be willing to examine all the events of my boyhood. Many of the most painful parts of my youth were so buried I had no memory of them. It took years of meetings, years of help from highly qualified professionals and tons of love from recovery friends and from my family to recapture my memories.

I had to be willing to work the steps with my sponsor. I wept many tears as I looked at my character defects. Elsa,my amazing sponsor , tenderly and patiently walked me through all that agony. I knew that if I did not do that work, I would live with some level of depression for the rest of my days.

I discovered a wonderful thing in that process. My world was full of My Higher Power’s love. It was simply everywhere. The problem was that I had chosen for years to close my eyes to my  painful inner reality.When my eyes were closed because of the fear of pain, my eyes were also closed to all the love in my world. As I learned to live with my eyes open, I could begin to see all the exquisite love that had been given to me. The price of living in voluntary blindness was missing the wonder of being alive, being human, loving and being loved.

Years ago, my adopted mother, Leona, Said to me, “George, you need to learn to see yourself the way God see’s you.” She paused. During the silence, I became very anxious. I didn’t want to see myself through God’s eyes.Then she went on, ” No matter how good it is .

I was very surprised. I was unaccustomed to think of myself in positive terms. An accurate understanding of the good things about myself is also a part of honesty. For me, maybe the most difficult part.

By George Caywood