Plan for every possible negative contingency. [Keep It Simple.]

But for the grace of God, I might be the scum of the earth like her. [But For The Grace of God.]

Keep the bitterness level of your self criticism high. [Easy Does It.]

Hang on to the past and worry about the future. [One Day At a Time.]

Everything will be fine if I can straighten her out. [Let It Begin With Me.]

Stay occupied with unimportant minutia so you don’t get all bogged down by things like character defects. [How Important Is It?]

React. [Think]

Keep predicting the future so you can stay safe. [Just For Today.]

Watch out for new thoughts. There is a conspiracy out there. [Keep An Open Mind]

Hang on tight. Only ask God to help in an extreme emergency. [Let Go and Let God.]

*CURSE [Conference Unapproved Reverse Slogans Elucidated ]

The following ideas have helped me.

-Said by an al-anon member just before Christmas: “Someone should find Norman Rockwell’s body and put a take through his heart.”

-I don’t have to catch every stone thrown at me.

-The people that I love that have died, are not as far removed from me as I once thought.

-It is wonderful that I get to feel my feelings whether the feeling is shame, anger, serenity, joy or love.

-I need to stop throwing myself under the bus.

-”AA helped me clean up my side of the street. Al-anon helped me stay on my side of the street.”

-I don’t have to go through it any more alone than I choose.

-I don’t have to predict the future because I have the resources to deal with what ever happens.

-The main problem I have today is geeting myself to ask for help.

-If God is timeless and experiences everything in the now, [I Am that I Am] my need is the same as my answer.

The following ideas have helped me.

-I am going to enjoy the crap out of myself. Enjoyment may be the best way to get the crap out of my life.

-The fastest way out is through.

-If the only thing my Higher Power had to work with was the things I do right, she would be pretty bored.

-My experience is not unique, but it is mine.

-My experience is my own, but my strength comes from other people.

-Bill Russell learned to play shortstop for the Dodgers after playing in the outfield all his life. He muffed a lot of ground balls in the process. Vin Scully sometimes said in describing the game, “It is a routine ground ball error to shortstop.” My family was a routine dysfunctional family, no different from the families of millions of other program members.

-The best we can do is to be human.

-The nice thing about being my age, is that I have made every stupid ass mistake anyone has ever made about 10,000 times.

-Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It is black and lacy.

-I dated my program for about a year before I was willing to make a commitment.

How did you do it God? How did you make a woman who is

capable

articulate

pleasing

bright

strong

beautiful,

And still at the same time

tender

spiritual

sympathetic

characterized by deep humility?

I have talked about my dark places many times,

in meetings

sharing with a friend

in my writings

in therapy

even a few times on the radio.

I have told many people that my dark places are

scary

stinky

ugly

disturbing

sickening

distorting.

Last Sunday, I wanted to share with you, but I was afraid that you would be

put off

offended

a little distant

shocked.

I kept asking you, “Are you all right?” Is this too much information?” But you were

gracious

calm

warm

tender.

You even told me a story designed to reassure me.

Always before, I had only described my dark places.This time it was different. It felt to me as if I was actually showing the places to you like I was your guide.

I took you personally to the dark places.

I walked you through.

I stood there with you.

I pointed out the things that made my insides so dark.

I took strength from you and told you my deeply humiliating secrets.

You didn’t waver. You did lower your voice which only

raised the intensity of your nearness.

You had a calming calm

were way beyond interested

were involved, intimate

asked me questions that were to the heart of the things I had suffered as a boy

believed in me, cared about me.

I can’t stop thinking about those hours we were together. Because of your qualities, a healing process has begun deep inside of me.

Your beauty is making  the darkness less horrible.

your lovely fragrance is driving away the stench.

your light makes it less dark.

your power makes my dark places feel safer.

I have always admired you, but now

I am staggered by your depth

I am touched by your gentle love

I  see that the awful things you endured as a little girl have become tremendous

assets.

Thank you so much. George

The following ideas have helped me.

-I’m taking care of business: mine not yours.

-What can I occupy my self with that is different from the the thing with which I am obsessing.

-The quality of my problems is improving.

-If I can not comfortably say no, it is not a relationship.

-Do I give myself away so that people will like me?

-Some new what ifs: What if I trust? What if I rest? What if I give up worry?

-I am finally getting it. The only person with the ability to meet my needs is me.

-Sometimes the love at a meeting rolls over me like the surf. It comes to me in waves,  over and over and over again.

-I most likely have the very thing I most deeply long to have. I just need eyes to see it, ears to hear it, a nose to catch it’s fragrance, and nerve endings to feel it’s caress.

-A necessary life skill I need to prosper: Living with pain in a way I can learn from it.

The following ideas have helped me.

-Adult sex is based on knowledge and familiarity. Adolescent sex is based on unfamiliarity.

-Sexuality is primarily the expression of previously developed intimacy. Sexuality is a relatively ineffective means of obtaining intimacy.

-I think men need woman more than woman need men.

-I think parents need adult children more than adult children need parents.

-If parents are a problem for their kids, kids most typically find solutions to their problem that the parents won’t like.

-If one person in a relationship gets better the partner will not stay the same. The other person will either get better too, or else get worse.

-I do better on a first date if I do not see myself as possibly establishing a relationship. It is better for me to see myself as a reporter gathering facts.

-Don’t think. Trust God and do the dishes. [I just finished doing the dishes, so I know this works.]

-If I compare myself to other people I lose. I lose even when I think I come off better in the comparison.

-I hate it when I feel duplicitous. I love it when I feel authentic.

The following ideas have helped me.

-It is hard to live in a world where no one else ever does it right.

-Sometimes I am like butter. I am on a roll.

-I do not want to be a wrong finder. I want to be a right finder.

-Stay on the train, the scenery will change.

-I have an inalienable right to feel safe.

-Two statements that are unhealthy for me.

1. Make her like me.[The same as me.]

2. Make her like me. [Be fond of me.]

-When I feel like I am making progress I sometimes feel, “I don’t know who this is, but I think it is me”

-If God brought me to it, God will bring me through it.

-Sometimes, I have made other people my life. YUK.

-Being enmeshed is not being intimate.

The following ideas have helped me.

-I need to mind my own business. No one else is going to do it for me.

-I may not like my circumstances, but I do like myself.

-When I say my truth seasoned with compassion, I feel good about myself.

-Do you live your life as a pigeon or a statue? Pigeons flap their wings.

-Cash register honesty is quite valuable, but honestly looking at your self is invaluable, priceless.

-My mind is fragile. I need to stay on my program trail.

-Look for the early warning signs. The signs are restlessness, irritability, and discontent.

-Perfectionism is self abuse.

-I value my car, so I take care of it. Am I as wise about myself?

-Detachment is stepping over the alcoholic without kicking him.

The following ideas have helped me.

-Many times, defects are best seen as defenses.

-The insight a desperate person finally sees: “There must be a better way”.

-A recovery strategy: A. Uncover B. Discover C.Discard

-I am on constant Red Alert looking for anything that might be proof that my insecurities are true.

-I am through treating my life as if it is a war.

-Hubris: “God I don’t need you yet. I will call you when I need you.”

-One time my sponsor teased me about my reluctance to pray. When I said “I better pray about this”, she said,”Wow, I didn’t know things were that desperate”

- 12 Step programs are simple but hard.

-Serving God is a blast.

-What God reveals, God heals.

The following ideas have helped me.

-I have to be willing to cross the bridge of recovery and leave people on the other side.

-When one person in a relationship starts to get healthy, the other person will either get better too, or he will begin to get worse.

-My program has made my dark past my greatest asset.

-I came to my program because my flying saucer had landed and all my people had gotten out.

-Obsession is not love or self love.

-This is a program where we take our car back to the manufacturer.

-I have learned that even when I am badly frightened, I can do it scared. 

-Nothing changed in my life situation except my brain.

-The 3 M’s: Masking tape over Mom’s mouth

-The three D’s: Duct tape blocking Dad’s responses to Daughters.