The following ideas have helped me.

• I like days that my Out-box goes down more than my In-box goes up.
• I need to be my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy.
• Give me this day my daily love, and my hourly hug.
• HALT

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

Each of the above emotional conditions opens a door for my disease to take over.

• I need a wounded bird to heal. Then I can feel OK, even if I don’t feel like there is anyone at home inside of me.
• At first my program was a pilot program, It was touch down and go.
• I disable when I enable.
• I have learned to hang out with myself.
• HOPE

Hearing

Other

People’s

Experience

• I commited myself to 3 meetings a week. Then I reduced my commitment to 2 meetings a week. Then I reduced my commitment to 1 meeting a week. Then I was committed.

I saw her, with her dark, shiny hair.

A smile so sweet, she so sweetly will share.

A quick warm embrace, love from her soul.

I gave back her hug, returning love as my goal.

—–

Her eyes are shiny, full of deep love.

Love that’s from God, down from above.

She is pretty, good kind and bright.

Maybe well talk, that would be a delight.

—–

When I am speaking, she listens intently.

I hear myself speaking a little more gently.

She looks at me steadily, straight in my eye.

I look right back, feeling very alive.

—-

Note: Written in an effort to preserve a great moment.

How did you do it God? How did you make a woman who is

capable

articulate

pleasing

bright

strong

beautiful,

And still at the same time

tender

spiritual

sympathetic

characterized by deep humility?

—-

I have talked about my dark places many times,

in meetings

sharing with a friend

in my writings

in therapy

even a few times on the radio.

I have told many people that my dark places are

scary

stinky

ugly

disturbing

sickening

distorting.

—-

Last Sunday, I wanted to share with you, but I was afraid that you would be

put off.

offended

a little distant

shocked.

I kept asking you, “Are you all right? and  Is this too much information? But you were

gracious

calm

warm

tender.

You even told me a story designed to reassure me.

—-

Always before, I had only described my dark places.This time it was different. It felt to me as if I was actually showing the places to you like I was your guide.

I took you personally to the dark places.

I walked you through.

I stood there with you.

I pointed out the things that made my insides so dark.

I took strength from you and told you my deeply humiliating secrets.

You didn’t waver. You did lower your voice which only raised the intensity of your nearness. You

had a calming calm

were way beyond interested

were involved, intimate

asked me questions that were to the heart of the things I had suffered as a boy

believed in me, cared about me.

—-

I can’t stop thinking about those hours we were together. Because of your qualities, a healing process has begun deep inside of me.

your beauty is making the darkness less horrible.

your lovely fragrance is driving away the stench.

your light makes it less dark.

your power makes my dark places feel safer.

I have always admired you, but now

I am staggered by your depth

I am touched by your gentle love

I see that the awful things you endured as a little girl have become tremendous

assets.

Thank you so much. George

The following ideas have helped me.

-I want my one thought to be,”I have this good day. How am I going to use it?”

-I traded my doormat in on a flying carpet.

-In a co-dependent relationship, both parties make each other weak.

-If I am coasting, I am going downhill.

-When I desperately needed love and acceptance, I often acted in a way that created conflict.

-Instead of saying,”I am going to be able to really live when this crisis is past”, I want to learn to say, “I am going to be fully alive right through the crisis”.

-I used to think beating myself up was a means of emotional growth. That is like my Dad thinking that he was helping me by severely punishing me with a razor strap.

-”Pray for the stranger” is a good parental prayer for a worried Mom or Dad. It is a prayer that God will send a stranger to help the kid that is in trouble.

-I want to look at the past only to be able to let go of the past.

-When I started working my program, it worked me.

-I do perfection imperfectly.

The following ideas have helped me.

-I want to parent myself the way I wish I had my girls.

-If one person in  a relationship changes, the relationship changes, but not necessarily for the better.

-If one person in a relationship gets better, the other person either gets better too, or else gets worse.

-Living with the disease of alcoholism is a life of eternal crisis.

-A slogan: “Think”. Don’t just react. Think your response through with your sponsor.

-”Don’t Think” could also be a slogan. I don’t need to endlessly analyze myself and my life. I cannot think myself out of my disease.

-I can not heal my sick mind with my sick mind.

-I grew up not trusting process. I felt if I could not succeed at something the first time I tried it, I would never do it again.

-”When my husband was drinking, I had one hundred problems. When he quit drinking, I still had ninety nine.

The following ideas have helped me.

-”My solution to my unhappiness was to find someone who knew how to live and do what ever he said.”

-When I am able to take care of myself around others, it helps me to accept them just as they are.

-”Being crazy takes so much freaking work.”

-Detach any way you can, short of murder.

-”When am I going to start living my life?”

-Feeling that I was different from other people is something I do to keep from connecting.

-Today is really OK. I just don’t like it.

-After years of chaos, I discovered I had undervalued boredom.

-Sometimes when I feel distressed, I feel I have a feeling of being trapped in my pain forever. That feeling is normal and I accept it. However, I know it is just a feeling. It is not fact.

-It is OK to look at the past, but it destructive for me to stare at it.

The following ideas about “One day at a time”, have helped me.

-When I first heard the suggestion that I live one day at a time, I said, “Just one day?� Now I say, “All day?�

-I want to stay intimately connected with the moment in which I am living.

-I need to keep my nose out of God’s business. The past and the future are God,s business.

-The twelve steps helped me to turn over my past to God. Living one day at a time keeps the future in God’s hands.

-The road to madness has two names: “If Only� and “What If�

-I have all the grace and strength I need for today. If I compare today’s strength with every problem I could conceivably have in the next thirty days, I will feel overwhelmed.

-One way I insulate myself from this present moment is to retreat into self criticism.

-Another way I insulate myself from the present moment is to compare myself to others.

-Another way I insulate myself from this present moment is to dream of the future in a way that excuses me from doing the next indicated thing.

-If I live in the present, I see all the wonderful little love touches that God uses to reach out to me.

-Life gets tougher as I get older. The strength I have today is great for today, but it will be insufficient for when I am ten years older. Therefore, I need to make sure I make the effort to grow each day so I can keep up.

The following are comments on living one day at a time.

-When I first heard the suggestion that I live one day at a time, I said, “Just one day?” Now I say, “All day?”

-I want to stay intimately connected with the moment in which I am living.

-I need to keep my nose out of God’s business. The past and the future are God,s business.

-The twelve steps helped me to turn over my past to God. Living one day at a time keeps the future in God’s hands.

-The road to madness has two names: “If Only” and “What If”

-I have all the grace and strength I need for today. If I compare today’s strength with every problem I could conceivably have in the next thirty days, I will feel overwhelmed.

-One way I insulate myself from this present moment is to retreat into self criticism.

-Another way I insulate myself from the present moment is to compare myself to others.

-Another way I insulate myself from this present moment is to dream of the future in a way that excuses me from doing the next indicated thing.

-If I live in the present, I see all the wonderful little love touches that God uses to reach out to me.

-Life gets tougher as I get older. The strength I have today is great for today, but it will be insufficient for when I am ten years older. Therefore, I need to make sure I make the effort to grow each day so I can keep up.

The following ideas have helped me.

-I thought love was something I had to earn. That meant that when love was freely given, I did recognize it as love.

-Draining myself does not fill up other people.

-I am trying to learn to keep my sense of self around powerful people.

-I grew up in a siege mentality, always hyper alert trying to protect myself.

-I needed to die if she died.

-Obsession is not love.

-Sometimes I have to do the ridiculous in order to allow God to do the miraculous.

-I do not have to wait to live my life until someone else gets better.

-Sometimes I need to get my old clothes out of the closet so that I have room for new clothes.

-Sometimes when I feel I need to make a decision between option A or B, I find there is an option C.

-

The following ideas have helped me.

-The dependent and co-dependent life diseases are both deadly diseases. They cause a person to commit suicide one day at a time.

-Pity and sympathy were a love substitute for me when I was afraid I would never be loved.

-It is not OK for negative people to treat me the way they want to treat me. It is not OK for me to allow them to treat me the way which they want to treat me.

-I got sucked into ick over and over again.

-Surrendering is not giving up. It is asking for God’s help.

-Growing up, instead of feeling sad, we fought with each other.

-I should never ask if the other person is enjoying himself. I should love him and enjoy myself.

-God’s four letter word: W-A-I-T.

-I learned how to run for cover not how to comfort myself.

-I thought I was creating a fortress to keep me safe. Actually, I built a jail and imprisoned myself.