There are two types of language that as a boy I was taught were bad language. The first was taboo language, the second was taking God’s name in vain. I am not certain which type of bad language was the most frowned upon. I suspect that “Oh fuck” would have been more harshly received than “Oh God.”, especially if the phrase “Oh my God” was the expression used to take God’s name in vain.
The word vain means empty. So taking God’s name in vain means using God’s name in an empty way. One dictionary says vain means idle or useless. By that definition, most church services are guilty of taking God’s name in vain hundreds if not thousands of times every service.
Suppose that a church service is attended by 250 people. Then imagine that 125 of those people are either momentarily or habitually insincere about their worship. Maybe they are only at church for business or political reasons. Or suppose the inattentive worshippers are distracted from the service by an attractive man or woman, or distracted by financial problems.
Then suppose that in the course of singing hymns and participating in responsive Bible readings, praying or using the liturgy, the inattentive 125 people use God’s name in an empty, idle or useless way 10 times. In that situation, God’s name would be taken in vain 1,250 times, right in the sanctuary of the church.
Taboo language is different. It is language that is forbidden and banned on grounds of morality or taste. Probably, the two most used taboo words are shit and fuck. However, I would argue that these words are in such common usage that they are no longer taboo in a culture wide frame of reference.
At least in a religious setting they are still taboo. No one is likely to say fuck or shit in church, although I imagine those words are in fairly common use in the minds of more than a few worshippers. Probably, I am judging congregations on the basis of what goes on in my head during the very rare church services I attend these days.
What makes the religiously forbidden use of taboo language ironic to me is that Christ used language that was strongly taboo in the ears of his listeners. Phrases like “You swallow a camel”, “You drink from an unclean cup”, and “You are a whitewashed tomb,” are all powerfully, religiously taboo to his Jewish audience. In my experience, today’s Christian church goers are generally appalled by taboo language but tolerate the empty use of God’s name. Christ would not dare take God’s name in vain, but he was not all that concerned about taboo language.
I think Jesus used shockingly taboo language to make the point to his audience they were not shocked by the things that should have been shocking . Things like cruelty, harsh judgments and barring people from the God that loves them were not shocking, but taboo language was. In effect, he was saying ” Look at and experience your sense of shock at my language. That is the way you should feel about things that matter, like suffering people, not about far less central issues like taboo language”.
There is another kind of bad language. It is language that is wounding. Racial, ethnic, gender and homophobic slurs are in this category. So are terms that demean those that are handicapped.
Consider the advice of Jesus as recorded in Mathews Gospel, “But whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
What that means to me is that if Ispeak to others in a way that is cruel or demeaning it is a very serious matter. To humiliate others is an offense to God and is not without consequence in my life and in the life of my loved ones.
Here is a saying that addresses this point. “There is another way to spell toxic as in the phrase ‘He is a toxic person’. It is, He is a talk sick person.” That is to say, that paying attention to a person who uses sick and toxic language makes me ill, diseased, sick.
The harsh words spoken by Jesus as quoted above seem to me to apply to any lanquage I might use that is so insulting and dismissing that it is toxic or poisonous to the person to whom it is spoken. The child’s saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is dangerously in error. Words can hurt and wound at a level that, many times, exceeds the pain of sticks and stones.
Obviously, good people should avoid racial, ethnic, homophobic words. Also, words that demean the handicapped or people who are in some way different, are to be avoided. However, there is another kind of word usage that seems demeaning to me. For example:
Pussy or Cunt: “He is a Pussy”. “She is a cunt”. Those are words that demean women by demeaning the reproductive organs of a woman. The word”dick” as in “He’s a dick”, demeans the sex organ of the male.
Boob: That is a reference to the breast of a woman. The phrase “He is a boob”, demonstrates that calling a woman’s breasts boobs is demeaning to women and to one of a woman’s most feminine body parts..
Mother Fucker: Imagine the pain of that phrase as it hits the ears of a person who was molested by his mother.
Sucks: “That sucks.” It seems to me that “sucks” is a pejorative reference to oral sex among gay men. In that light,it is homophobic.
When Jesus says that negative language carries the threat of damnation, I do not think he is a threatening me with eternal hell. I think he is using extreme language to powerfully make a point. The point is that I bring terrible hellish, destruction to myself, to my loved ones, to my social environment and to my culture when I use demeaning language. Hence the title of this piece, “Damn bad language.” Insulting and demeaning language are a damnation to me and my world.
I do not mean to list all the ways language can be bad in this essay. I do mean that kind, gentle, uplifting speech is an important way suffering can be reduced in the world by each and everyone of us. There is a saying: “Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.” There is a powerful wisdom in those words.